By Yoselyn Refugio
When I was younger, my father wouldn't be around as much as I would've liked him to be. He was never around due to work. He'd always be busy during the day and rushing to work all night. I didn't get much of the “father love” I wanted. My mom would always facetime my older half brother, who is from Guatemala. He's like a father to me, since my real dad wouldn't be around as much, he would give me lessons and talk to me as if he were my dad.
Me and my step brother have a great bond. He was the person I’d go to when I had a problem or a question that I wouldn't feel comfortable about talking with my mother.
He would tell me about the usual lessons a father would give to a daughter. Some of the lessons he would teach me is to pay attention in school due to its importance, to respect my elders, to be kind, ect. He’d make sure everything is going good.
If I were to have ever done a bad thing, my mom would tell him everything but instead of him yelling at me, he'd always talk to me about it calmly. I weirdly liked it when he would punish me instead of my mom, since he does take things more calmly. For example, the time i got my first phone i would be really distracted on it. I started to not listen as much to my mom. My mom would get extremely furious. But when my brother would talk to me, he would take things easy and talk to me about it instead of “punishing”.
I would trust him a lot. He’d always listen to my problems and help me feel better by giving me amazing advice that I still use today. For example, when I was younger everyone would tell me to treat everyone how I want to be treated. But when he told me, he would teach me how to be empathetic by telling me to listen, speak calmly, try to be in the other person's shoe, and not judge.
He’s not just my brother but a great friend. We would make fun of each other a lot but we always play around like that to this day.
A special memory with him was last year, I Traveled to Guatemala to visit him and my other step-siblings, in October.
It was amazing seeing him and my step-sisters for the first time. As we were walking towards the exit doors from the airport, where my step-siblings were on the other side, i felt really nervous to meet them. I felt nervous to meet them because i would always see them through a screen. As i was going up to them to hug, i felt extremely happy which lead to the nervousness going away.
My family rented a beach house for everyone. We were all excited because the beach house had a large pool behind it. At that time I Didn't know how to swim so I Was extremely nervous to even go around, afraid that I was going to fall in and drown. My brother would always tease me and play around, that he’ll push me in or just make fun of me that I couldn’t swim. I wouldn't get offended because id make fun of him everytime he would to me. I found it hilarious. Even though he would make fun that I Couldn't swim, he helped me learn how to swim.
Recently, I had a conversation with my brother and asked him how different our lives would have been without each other, he said, “I think it's better [that we’re in each other’s lives], because you help my mom and you are a great support for her and me”.
Hearing my brother share these words reminds me of when I would make him feel better when ever he felt bad, check up on him, and give him advice.
A time where i think i helped him out a lot was when my mom was mad at him for doing something he shouldn’t have done. I talked to my mom about the problem, pointing out that it was a one-time thing and that he wouldn’t do it again. She ended up calming down and talking it through with my brother. He was very thankful because he didn't want to continue with the guilt of upsetting my mom.
I’m grateful that I have a brother who is a friend and at times a father-figure because I can just be myself around him. I really like that I can be myself around him; I can be goofy, chill, and he’ll always accept me.
When I was younger, my father wouldn't be around as much as I would've liked him to be. He was never around due to work. He'd always be busy during the day and rushing to work all night. I didn't get much of the “father love” I wanted. My mom would always facetime my older half brother, who is from Guatemala. He's like a father to me, since my real dad wouldn't be around as much, he would give me lessons and talk to me as if he were my dad.
Me and my step brother have a great bond. He was the person I’d go to when I had a problem or a question that I wouldn't feel comfortable about talking with my mother.
He would tell me about the usual lessons a father would give to a daughter. Some of the lessons he would teach me is to pay attention in school due to its importance, to respect my elders, to be kind, ect. He’d make sure everything is going good.
If I were to have ever done a bad thing, my mom would tell him everything but instead of him yelling at me, he'd always talk to me about it calmly. I weirdly liked it when he would punish me instead of my mom, since he does take things more calmly. For example, the time i got my first phone i would be really distracted on it. I started to not listen as much to my mom. My mom would get extremely furious. But when my brother would talk to me, he would take things easy and talk to me about it instead of “punishing”.
I would trust him a lot. He’d always listen to my problems and help me feel better by giving me amazing advice that I still use today. For example, when I was younger everyone would tell me to treat everyone how I want to be treated. But when he told me, he would teach me how to be empathetic by telling me to listen, speak calmly, try to be in the other person's shoe, and not judge.
He’s not just my brother but a great friend. We would make fun of each other a lot but we always play around like that to this day.
A special memory with him was last year, I Traveled to Guatemala to visit him and my other step-siblings, in October.
It was amazing seeing him and my step-sisters for the first time. As we were walking towards the exit doors from the airport, where my step-siblings were on the other side, i felt really nervous to meet them. I felt nervous to meet them because i would always see them through a screen. As i was going up to them to hug, i felt extremely happy which lead to the nervousness going away.
My family rented a beach house for everyone. We were all excited because the beach house had a large pool behind it. At that time I Didn't know how to swim so I Was extremely nervous to even go around, afraid that I was going to fall in and drown. My brother would always tease me and play around, that he’ll push me in or just make fun of me that I couldn’t swim. I wouldn't get offended because id make fun of him everytime he would to me. I found it hilarious. Even though he would make fun that I Couldn't swim, he helped me learn how to swim.
Recently, I had a conversation with my brother and asked him how different our lives would have been without each other, he said, “I think it's better [that we’re in each other’s lives], because you help my mom and you are a great support for her and me”.
Hearing my brother share these words reminds me of when I would make him feel better when ever he felt bad, check up on him, and give him advice.
A time where i think i helped him out a lot was when my mom was mad at him for doing something he shouldn’t have done. I talked to my mom about the problem, pointing out that it was a one-time thing and that he wouldn’t do it again. She ended up calming down and talking it through with my brother. He was very thankful because he didn't want to continue with the guilt of upsetting my mom.
I’m grateful that I have a brother who is a friend and at times a father-figure because I can just be myself around him. I really like that I can be myself around him; I can be goofy, chill, and he’ll always accept me.