By: Sandra Cuevas
Everyone talks about peer pressure from friends, cousins, classmates, etc., but pressure from one’s own family is hardly acknowledged or often just seen as ‘tough love.’
In my case, I get tough love from my whole family and have been experiencing it for as long as I can remember. Dealing with pressure from such a young age is difficult, and as you grow older, it only gets even more stressful.
When high school began and I started doing well, it was the first time anyone in our family received what you can consider “good grades.” It was a big deal because my siblings didn’t have the opportunity to go straight to a four-year college like I do. My sister carried a lot of drama throughout high school and ended up getting pregnant at the age of 16. My older brother was just never good in school and didn’t have anyone to check up on him or help him do more with his abilities. My good grades surprised my parents, which created an expectation they had of me to be someone they can be proud of; this often felt overwhelming throughout the years.
For example, sophomore year was when the weight of my family’s expectations made me come close to falling apart. I didn’t know who I was, who I wanted to be, or what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve never actually had a clear idea of what my goals were, and even today, I’m still not sure. I felt pressured to do so much, and I didn’t know the reason why. I felt lost, and I couldn’t find the point in continuing to put effort in something I wasn’t sure I wanted.
Recently, the pressure has been even worse with submitting my college applications and not being sure if I will disappoint my parents or finally give them the success they’ve been reaching for within each child.
At home, I pretty much have to be the one to help my mom with all the responsibilities she can’t handle such as babysitting and helping around in the house because she’s suffering from depression. My sister relies on me to keep all these bottled up secrets from the people I call family, which causes my fear of someday exploding.
My whole family relies on me to be the one there for my little brother during his explosive episodes and look after him when things get bad, since they’ve all pretty much gave up on him or have a broken relationship with him. It was even worse when my older siblings both moved out because they knew what was going on, but left me to deal with it on my own. Now with my brother not only having trouble with his state of mind but also getting into trouble with his friends, the stress to help him has become almost unbearable. The feeling that I get knowing there’s not much I can do or say to change his ways or make him feel good enough is complete misery.
However, as I’ve grown older and as I’ve been finding my way through high school, there has been this bittersweet feeling of importance and pride. Being that person everyone relies on and has high expectations of in the family can get difficult, but it also brings out my sense of self-worth and confidence. I’ve realized that I’m the balance in my family, and I feel grateful to have a close relationship with every single one of them, even if they don’t with one another. My family has a special place in my heart, and I’m thankful for them shaping who I am today, even if I’m still not fully aware of who that is.
In my case, I get tough love from my whole family and have been experiencing it for as long as I can remember. Dealing with pressure from such a young age is difficult, and as you grow older, it only gets even more stressful.
When high school began and I started doing well, it was the first time anyone in our family received what you can consider “good grades.” It was a big deal because my siblings didn’t have the opportunity to go straight to a four-year college like I do. My sister carried a lot of drama throughout high school and ended up getting pregnant at the age of 16. My older brother was just never good in school and didn’t have anyone to check up on him or help him do more with his abilities. My good grades surprised my parents, which created an expectation they had of me to be someone they can be proud of; this often felt overwhelming throughout the years.
For example, sophomore year was when the weight of my family’s expectations made me come close to falling apart. I didn’t know who I was, who I wanted to be, or what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve never actually had a clear idea of what my goals were, and even today, I’m still not sure. I felt pressured to do so much, and I didn’t know the reason why. I felt lost, and I couldn’t find the point in continuing to put effort in something I wasn’t sure I wanted.
Recently, the pressure has been even worse with submitting my college applications and not being sure if I will disappoint my parents or finally give them the success they’ve been reaching for within each child.
At home, I pretty much have to be the one to help my mom with all the responsibilities she can’t handle such as babysitting and helping around in the house because she’s suffering from depression. My sister relies on me to keep all these bottled up secrets from the people I call family, which causes my fear of someday exploding.
My whole family relies on me to be the one there for my little brother during his explosive episodes and look after him when things get bad, since they’ve all pretty much gave up on him or have a broken relationship with him. It was even worse when my older siblings both moved out because they knew what was going on, but left me to deal with it on my own. Now with my brother not only having trouble with his state of mind but also getting into trouble with his friends, the stress to help him has become almost unbearable. The feeling that I get knowing there’s not much I can do or say to change his ways or make him feel good enough is complete misery.
However, as I’ve grown older and as I’ve been finding my way through high school, there has been this bittersweet feeling of importance and pride. Being that person everyone relies on and has high expectations of in the family can get difficult, but it also brings out my sense of self-worth and confidence. I’ve realized that I’m the balance in my family, and I feel grateful to have a close relationship with every single one of them, even if they don’t with one another. My family has a special place in my heart, and I’m thankful for them shaping who I am today, even if I’m still not fully aware of who that is.