By Sandra Cuevas
Up until I was 11 years old, my mind was unconscious to the social issues that others faced around me. This all changed when my older brother came out as gay to me.
We were in my sister’s dimly lit room, having our usual Friday movie night. The Hills Have Eyes was playing loudly on the tv screen. My two older siblings were on the bed not paying any attention to the movie, of course, causing me to get frustrated. With a voice filled with light laughter, my sister asks, “Sandra, can you go grab some more popcorn?” I rolled my eyes, my frustration growing, and walked away from the warmth of the white sheets.
On my way back, the aroma of the sizzling buttered popcorn travelled through the hallway. On the bed, my sister and brother were joking and I didn’t understand. They looked up at me, my brother with a nervous look on his face. My sister turned to my brother, “Come on, Alex, just tell her,” she says obnoxiously.
My sister’s head turned to me, “Sandra, you really don’t know?” As if I was supposed to understand what had happened.
A silent moment of me staring at them there in front of me passed when my sister just blurts out, “Alex is gay.”
It was then that I realized I knew my brother had this big secret he was hiding, and I had just never put it together for it to sink like an anchor in my mind.
At the time, knowing that my older brother had this secret he felt he couldn’t tell me himself made me a little upset because I felt that we had his unique relationship that none of our other siblings were lucky enough to have.
My big brother and I’s relationship has always been so distinct and is something I hold so dear to me, as we both share the same common interests. Having what you can call this small conversation just made me more prideful of being able to call him my brother.
Learning this about my brother also came with learning about the unfairness and all the bullying he had experienced from when he was a kid and even as a 32-year-old adult now.
I remember as a young girl in middle school, I would feel anger in the pit of my stomach and shock whenever I heard other kids use the word ‘gay’ as an insult or whenever someone voiced their judgement on how being anything but straight isn’t normal.
Learning that my brother has come across people who don’t accept him as who he is opened my eyes to all the discrimination that others in minority groups come across, too.
At the time, this anger was something I couldn’t put away, so I let it out whenever people had something negative to say about gay people. However, when it came to discrimination against other minority groups, the anger I had was always bottled up inside me and I didn’t say much that would’ve been able to try to influence others’ opinions. Knowing that I was quiet all those years, makes me feel shameful of myself now, but recently I’ve been trying to make up for it.
During a recent conversation with my older brother, he explained to me how he felt during the encounter we had six years ago. He says, “The way I am is, I kind of just smuggle the truth into whatever conversation we’re having. Something I admire about Marissa, our sister, is that she can just tell you exactly what is going on, how she feels, no matter how uncomfortable it may make others feel. With her kind of more-so blurting it out and me piggybacking on it, it feels less scary to me. By nature, I’d rather just sneak it in there than to just be brave and say what I feel.”
When I asked my brother about how he sees our relationship in his eyes, he says, “Ever since you were a kid, I just felt that you understood me and we’ve always been so one another, so similar. I feel like you’re a miniature me, like I was you at your age. Telling you wasn’t something hard because something that the three of us do when one of us is having a personal issue is, we kind of just make whatever the situation is seem silly. There is always a moment when instead of looking at it like it’s a scary monster towering over us, we look down at it and laugh. One of us will make a joke and we all just laugh like we’re laughing in the face of fear. ”
According to Pew Research Center’s article, “A Survey of LGBT Americans,” research has shown that people are more accepting now of the LGBT community than in the past. Even though there are still many people who are narrow minded to the subject, there has been more situations where this community has been brought into a positive light today. Today, people are much more supportive and accepting of them, especially if these supporters are showing support on behalf of someone they know who is a part of the LGBT.
Today, my older brother and I are constantly pushing each other to get involved in the community by participating in events. For the past year, my brother and I have participated in marches and protests together and we are planning on attending many more in the future.
My older brother is the person who has pushed me to fight for the things I believe in and he is the person who makes me feel like my opinion on certain issues really does matter. He makes me realize that my existence and my voice can have a positive impact in this world.
We were in my sister’s dimly lit room, having our usual Friday movie night. The Hills Have Eyes was playing loudly on the tv screen. My two older siblings were on the bed not paying any attention to the movie, of course, causing me to get frustrated. With a voice filled with light laughter, my sister asks, “Sandra, can you go grab some more popcorn?” I rolled my eyes, my frustration growing, and walked away from the warmth of the white sheets.
On my way back, the aroma of the sizzling buttered popcorn travelled through the hallway. On the bed, my sister and brother were joking and I didn’t understand. They looked up at me, my brother with a nervous look on his face. My sister turned to my brother, “Come on, Alex, just tell her,” she says obnoxiously.
My sister’s head turned to me, “Sandra, you really don’t know?” As if I was supposed to understand what had happened.
A silent moment of me staring at them there in front of me passed when my sister just blurts out, “Alex is gay.”
It was then that I realized I knew my brother had this big secret he was hiding, and I had just never put it together for it to sink like an anchor in my mind.
At the time, knowing that my older brother had this secret he felt he couldn’t tell me himself made me a little upset because I felt that we had his unique relationship that none of our other siblings were lucky enough to have.
My big brother and I’s relationship has always been so distinct and is something I hold so dear to me, as we both share the same common interests. Having what you can call this small conversation just made me more prideful of being able to call him my brother.
Learning this about my brother also came with learning about the unfairness and all the bullying he had experienced from when he was a kid and even as a 32-year-old adult now.
I remember as a young girl in middle school, I would feel anger in the pit of my stomach and shock whenever I heard other kids use the word ‘gay’ as an insult or whenever someone voiced their judgement on how being anything but straight isn’t normal.
Learning that my brother has come across people who don’t accept him as who he is opened my eyes to all the discrimination that others in minority groups come across, too.
At the time, this anger was something I couldn’t put away, so I let it out whenever people had something negative to say about gay people. However, when it came to discrimination against other minority groups, the anger I had was always bottled up inside me and I didn’t say much that would’ve been able to try to influence others’ opinions. Knowing that I was quiet all those years, makes me feel shameful of myself now, but recently I’ve been trying to make up for it.
During a recent conversation with my older brother, he explained to me how he felt during the encounter we had six years ago. He says, “The way I am is, I kind of just smuggle the truth into whatever conversation we’re having. Something I admire about Marissa, our sister, is that she can just tell you exactly what is going on, how she feels, no matter how uncomfortable it may make others feel. With her kind of more-so blurting it out and me piggybacking on it, it feels less scary to me. By nature, I’d rather just sneak it in there than to just be brave and say what I feel.”
When I asked my brother about how he sees our relationship in his eyes, he says, “Ever since you were a kid, I just felt that you understood me and we’ve always been so one another, so similar. I feel like you’re a miniature me, like I was you at your age. Telling you wasn’t something hard because something that the three of us do when one of us is having a personal issue is, we kind of just make whatever the situation is seem silly. There is always a moment when instead of looking at it like it’s a scary monster towering over us, we look down at it and laugh. One of us will make a joke and we all just laugh like we’re laughing in the face of fear. ”
According to Pew Research Center’s article, “A Survey of LGBT Americans,” research has shown that people are more accepting now of the LGBT community than in the past. Even though there are still many people who are narrow minded to the subject, there has been more situations where this community has been brought into a positive light today. Today, people are much more supportive and accepting of them, especially if these supporters are showing support on behalf of someone they know who is a part of the LGBT.
Today, my older brother and I are constantly pushing each other to get involved in the community by participating in events. For the past year, my brother and I have participated in marches and protests together and we are planning on attending many more in the future.
My older brother is the person who has pushed me to fight for the things I believe in and he is the person who makes me feel like my opinion on certain issues really does matter. He makes me realize that my existence and my voice can have a positive impact in this world.