By Rachel Nguyen
My sisters and I stayed upstairs, safely hiding from the pandemonium that was going on downstairs. We would try to get away from the yelling and clangs of pots and pans created by my parents’ monthly brawls, but could not pretend we did not know what was going on. At times like these, I find rest in my mother’s words when she says, “You will understand when you grow older.”
My mom and dad would constantly argue about topics I could not potentially understand, but I knew that they all stem from the same sensitive issue I grew up hearing about: money. From the costiliness of supermarket runs, to the dilemma of buying a new house, my parents would drive each other insane about having not enough money for everything.
I could not understand why my parents argued like angry siblings, but I remember clearly one particular incident that led my mom to storm out of the house. I felt intense feelings of fear and uncertainty; she was never one to leave my siblings and I behind without her. I saw the hatred and resentment in her, and the thought that she would never want to come back home again haunted my mind.
I did not want to accept the reality that my home, the place where all my childhood memories emanated throughout the space, was now filled with disorder and division. It wasn’t just my home, but a symbol of my parents’ hard work.
After marrying my dad, my mother left her family behind in Vietnam to move to the United States. She sacrificed all that she knew in order to give my sisters and I everything we could ever need and want, but that proved extremely difficult as she faced many hardships trying to adjust to her new, permanent life. From facing discrimination to losing jobs, my mother still finds joy in finding the smallest reasons to live. And she did this alone.
My mom and dad would constantly argue about topics I could not potentially understand, but I knew that they all stem from the same sensitive issue I grew up hearing about: money. From the costiliness of supermarket runs, to the dilemma of buying a new house, my parents would drive each other insane about having not enough money for everything.
I could not understand why my parents argued like angry siblings, but I remember clearly one particular incident that led my mom to storm out of the house. I felt intense feelings of fear and uncertainty; she was never one to leave my siblings and I behind without her. I saw the hatred and resentment in her, and the thought that she would never want to come back home again haunted my mind.
I did not want to accept the reality that my home, the place where all my childhood memories emanated throughout the space, was now filled with disorder and division. It wasn’t just my home, but a symbol of my parents’ hard work.
After marrying my dad, my mother left her family behind in Vietnam to move to the United States. She sacrificed all that she knew in order to give my sisters and I everything we could ever need and want, but that proved extremely difficult as she faced many hardships trying to adjust to her new, permanent life. From facing discrimination to losing jobs, my mother still finds joy in finding the smallest reasons to live. And she did this alone.
My mother came back home that night. I remember anticipating her return all day through my bedroom window, expecting her to come back and pretend for us that everything was going to be fine just as how she always buried her problems. At the same time, I was hurt by the way she had left us, and I was ready to give my mother a hard time about it.
I ran to my eldest sister’s room to tell her of the news, and we both rushed downstairs and out of the front door to see my mother still sitting in the driver’s seat of her car. She had her sunglasses on, as if she thought we could not see through her pain with them on. Even though she greeted my sister and I with a friendly smile, I realized she was only suppressing her own feelings for our sake.
“I think it’s time that I tell you guys how I have been feeling lately,” she said.
Sitting in the backseat of her car, I listened as my mother revealed her suppressed feelings for the first time. She told us stories of her strenuous life; waking up at 6:00 am to prep for the day and not getting home until late at night everyday. She was never one to complain, as she was happy to fulfill her role as a mother and see her daughters grow up. However, arguments with my dad makes it harder for her to embrace her struggles wholeheartedly, and the family burden became more difficult to carry by herself.
As I listened to my mother’s soft-spoken voice, I finally understood how hard she must have worked behind the scenes to fill our lives with success, laughter, abundance, dreams, and beyond. I did not realize how much life’s daily routine are the biggest blessings until I saw my mom’s secret hardships through her sudden tears.
This realization has helped me build up the new me. I strive to become someone like my mother. The reason I work as hard the way I do today is to pay back for all she has done for me. Even through all her tribulations, my mother still does not seek for help from anybody but rather try to solve her own problems. This is the type of person I want to be; I want to earn my rewards through my own skills, my own abilities, and not through someone else's work.
Moving across the world can come with big challenges. I learned that my mom is only one of many cases that has experienced this perseverance and strength moving to a different country. Just like my mom, many immigrants are faced with many barriers arriving to the U.S. In spite of all these challenges, I find myself constantly impressed and amazed how they manage to keep afloat in this new, intimidating place.
In the result of cultural differences and the lack of language knowledge of arriving in America, many immigrants find it difficult to secure work without the needed skills or education for a profession. It is not an easy task to enter the country, learn English, secure a job, and try to work their way up the profession ladder. As a result, many immigrants find themselves working odd jobs with late hours, no benefits, and low pay.
Immigrants who have children may not also have the education or language skills to assist their children struggling in school. While they go to great lengths to raise their children in a new, unfamiliar culture, it is tough for parents in finding the time between jobs and caring for their children.
After 20 years of living in the United States, my mother continues to root for my successes, especially now that I am transitioning to the young adult years of my life. She encourages me everyday, and teaches me to grab any opportunities in life that would allow me to succeed.
“I want you to do the things you feel are called to do, no matter the cost. I never wanted money to stop you from doing the things you want. Your dad and I will always try make it work financially,” she tells me in a recent conversation I had with her.
Although I wasn’t brought up in a life of luxury, I am grateful to be able to live in a comfortable lifestyle due to my parents’ hard work and effort. They have exceeded the expectations others had of them as immigrants, and for that, I am extremely grateful for them.
Because of this, I cherish my mother’s approval, fear, and disappointment in me after getting a glimpse of her past, and knowing that she was able to overcome adversity. Her strength and strong will is something that I will always admire and try to live by.
It is because of her I am who I am today. Behind my choices, character, values, and dreams, proudly stands my mother.
I ran to my eldest sister’s room to tell her of the news, and we both rushed downstairs and out of the front door to see my mother still sitting in the driver’s seat of her car. She had her sunglasses on, as if she thought we could not see through her pain with them on. Even though she greeted my sister and I with a friendly smile, I realized she was only suppressing her own feelings for our sake.
“I think it’s time that I tell you guys how I have been feeling lately,” she said.
Sitting in the backseat of her car, I listened as my mother revealed her suppressed feelings for the first time. She told us stories of her strenuous life; waking up at 6:00 am to prep for the day and not getting home until late at night everyday. She was never one to complain, as she was happy to fulfill her role as a mother and see her daughters grow up. However, arguments with my dad makes it harder for her to embrace her struggles wholeheartedly, and the family burden became more difficult to carry by herself.
As I listened to my mother’s soft-spoken voice, I finally understood how hard she must have worked behind the scenes to fill our lives with success, laughter, abundance, dreams, and beyond. I did not realize how much life’s daily routine are the biggest blessings until I saw my mom’s secret hardships through her sudden tears.
This realization has helped me build up the new me. I strive to become someone like my mother. The reason I work as hard the way I do today is to pay back for all she has done for me. Even through all her tribulations, my mother still does not seek for help from anybody but rather try to solve her own problems. This is the type of person I want to be; I want to earn my rewards through my own skills, my own abilities, and not through someone else's work.
Moving across the world can come with big challenges. I learned that my mom is only one of many cases that has experienced this perseverance and strength moving to a different country. Just like my mom, many immigrants are faced with many barriers arriving to the U.S. In spite of all these challenges, I find myself constantly impressed and amazed how they manage to keep afloat in this new, intimidating place.
In the result of cultural differences and the lack of language knowledge of arriving in America, many immigrants find it difficult to secure work without the needed skills or education for a profession. It is not an easy task to enter the country, learn English, secure a job, and try to work their way up the profession ladder. As a result, many immigrants find themselves working odd jobs with late hours, no benefits, and low pay.
Immigrants who have children may not also have the education or language skills to assist their children struggling in school. While they go to great lengths to raise their children in a new, unfamiliar culture, it is tough for parents in finding the time between jobs and caring for their children.
After 20 years of living in the United States, my mother continues to root for my successes, especially now that I am transitioning to the young adult years of my life. She encourages me everyday, and teaches me to grab any opportunities in life that would allow me to succeed.
“I want you to do the things you feel are called to do, no matter the cost. I never wanted money to stop you from doing the things you want. Your dad and I will always try make it work financially,” she tells me in a recent conversation I had with her.
Although I wasn’t brought up in a life of luxury, I am grateful to be able to live in a comfortable lifestyle due to my parents’ hard work and effort. They have exceeded the expectations others had of them as immigrants, and for that, I am extremely grateful for them.
Because of this, I cherish my mother’s approval, fear, and disappointment in me after getting a glimpse of her past, and knowing that she was able to overcome adversity. Her strength and strong will is something that I will always admire and try to live by.
It is because of her I am who I am today. Behind my choices, character, values, and dreams, proudly stands my mother.