By Maria Bello
I spent most of my childhood believing that those who said were my parents were telling the truth, but I later found out they weren’t. Once I found this out, my whole world shattered completely and I knew my life would never be the same.
I was running around outside the house in Mexico, while my grandparents were inside the house eating. The grass was so green and soft beneath my toes. The sun was so bright as if hundreds of flashlights were illuminizing the planet. I remember we had a beautiful big tree with lots of leaves hanging down from it. I would always play by the tree because it gave me shade, it was one of my favorite places to be at. I started to get bored so I decided to climb the tree but something went wrong. I think I took a wrong step because one of the branches of the tree broke and suddenly I was falling.
Suddenly I felt someone catch me. With a quiet voice I said, “Thank you,” and that person replied, “You’re welcome.” It sounded like an unfamiliar voice so I instantly became afraid. As I turned around, I realized it was a man and my fear was growing because I never had seen him before. I silently asked him, “Who are you?” He then replied, “I am your father.” I was so confused and scared so I yelled, “No you’re not.” As I tried to walk past him, I looked down and saw his shadow and suddenly I was running as fast as I could. All I felt was the sun hitting my face and it burned as my heart pounded faster and faster while running.
I got to where my grandparents were, and I told my grandmother that there was a man outside who said he was my father. I told her that he probably got confused so we went outside to see him. When my grandmother saw him, she made a sad face and my brother ran into his arms and hugged him tight. My grandparents took us to the house and with tears on her face, my grandmother told me that she wasn’t my mom. I couldn’t believe what she just confessed. Even though I was only six, I felt a wave of emotions including; rejection, anger and sadness.
My father tried to hug me but I pushed him away and I told him, “You will never be my father.” I remember running out of the house that had turned into a place full of lies. I was outside the house sitting down and later that day, my grandmother came and told me that she loved me but I had to go. I got into the car and I said in a soft, quiet voice, “Goodbye mom and dad.” Since that day, I haven’t seen them.
During a recent conversation with my father, he explained how he felt when he left me and my brother. He told me that he didn’t know that my mom was pregnant with me and he said that he missed my brother. When my dad heard that my mom was pregnant he felt so happy but sad at the same time. He told me that leaving without us was like being alone in the whole world. All he wished was to meet me and to see my brother again.
According to my dad, he said, “ Los extrañaba mucho, y me sentía muy solo y triste. Me Decía a mi mismo cuando los voy a volver a ver otra vez. Y cuando te mire mi corazón siento un cálido calor y en lo único que pensé fue en abrazarte. Lo siento mucho por no estar contigo cuando me necesitabas.”
I’m not the only one who has encountered this experience. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), there are approximately 2.4 million grandparents raising 4.5 million children. Also, according to Missouri Families.org, they say that parents might have to leave their children to look for jobs. But many children feel disappointed and hurt by their parent’s actions and they feel the lack of time spent together.
When we got to the USA, my brother was so happy, but I wasn’t. I was full of anger and I had many questions to ask “my parents.” When my mom tried to hug me, I rejected her because I wanted her to feel what I felt. Then I noticed she was holding a baby and I saw a little boy and girl running around. All I wished for in that moment was to go back with my “real parents.”
While days passed, I started to realize that both of my parents have done their best to care for me. They have bought me clothes and my mom made us some delicious food everyday. They took us to the park and me and my siblings love to play tag so my parents would always play with us. As I grew older, the pain and anger started to fade away little by little. My parents told me that they left me because they wanted to give me a better future and in that moment, I realized that it wasn’t their intention to leave me. I told them that I loved them and that I understood. Finally, I felt the love and the warmth of having a family.
I was running around outside the house in Mexico, while my grandparents were inside the house eating. The grass was so green and soft beneath my toes. The sun was so bright as if hundreds of flashlights were illuminizing the planet. I remember we had a beautiful big tree with lots of leaves hanging down from it. I would always play by the tree because it gave me shade, it was one of my favorite places to be at. I started to get bored so I decided to climb the tree but something went wrong. I think I took a wrong step because one of the branches of the tree broke and suddenly I was falling.
Suddenly I felt someone catch me. With a quiet voice I said, “Thank you,” and that person replied, “You’re welcome.” It sounded like an unfamiliar voice so I instantly became afraid. As I turned around, I realized it was a man and my fear was growing because I never had seen him before. I silently asked him, “Who are you?” He then replied, “I am your father.” I was so confused and scared so I yelled, “No you’re not.” As I tried to walk past him, I looked down and saw his shadow and suddenly I was running as fast as I could. All I felt was the sun hitting my face and it burned as my heart pounded faster and faster while running.
I got to where my grandparents were, and I told my grandmother that there was a man outside who said he was my father. I told her that he probably got confused so we went outside to see him. When my grandmother saw him, she made a sad face and my brother ran into his arms and hugged him tight. My grandparents took us to the house and with tears on her face, my grandmother told me that she wasn’t my mom. I couldn’t believe what she just confessed. Even though I was only six, I felt a wave of emotions including; rejection, anger and sadness.
My father tried to hug me but I pushed him away and I told him, “You will never be my father.” I remember running out of the house that had turned into a place full of lies. I was outside the house sitting down and later that day, my grandmother came and told me that she loved me but I had to go. I got into the car and I said in a soft, quiet voice, “Goodbye mom and dad.” Since that day, I haven’t seen them.
During a recent conversation with my father, he explained how he felt when he left me and my brother. He told me that he didn’t know that my mom was pregnant with me and he said that he missed my brother. When my dad heard that my mom was pregnant he felt so happy but sad at the same time. He told me that leaving without us was like being alone in the whole world. All he wished was to meet me and to see my brother again.
According to my dad, he said, “ Los extrañaba mucho, y me sentía muy solo y triste. Me Decía a mi mismo cuando los voy a volver a ver otra vez. Y cuando te mire mi corazón siento un cálido calor y en lo único que pensé fue en abrazarte. Lo siento mucho por no estar contigo cuando me necesitabas.”
I’m not the only one who has encountered this experience. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), there are approximately 2.4 million grandparents raising 4.5 million children. Also, according to Missouri Families.org, they say that parents might have to leave their children to look for jobs. But many children feel disappointed and hurt by their parent’s actions and they feel the lack of time spent together.
When we got to the USA, my brother was so happy, but I wasn’t. I was full of anger and I had many questions to ask “my parents.” When my mom tried to hug me, I rejected her because I wanted her to feel what I felt. Then I noticed she was holding a baby and I saw a little boy and girl running around. All I wished for in that moment was to go back with my “real parents.”
While days passed, I started to realize that both of my parents have done their best to care for me. They have bought me clothes and my mom made us some delicious food everyday. They took us to the park and me and my siblings love to play tag so my parents would always play with us. As I grew older, the pain and anger started to fade away little by little. My parents told me that they left me because they wanted to give me a better future and in that moment, I realized that it wasn’t their intention to leave me. I told them that I loved them and that I understood. Finally, I felt the love and the warmth of having a family.