By: Kevin Nguyen
Growing up without a father can either build or destroy you. My father passed away when I was 3 years old. At that time, I was too young to understand what had happened and how this would change my life forever.
When I was younger, I was confused. I didn’t know how to react or to deal with not having a father in my life. I had not known anyone who had gone through what I had.
With my mom always busy working, my cousin Thao, and her husband Thomas, stepped in to take care of me on the weekends.
“You were at an age (5) where you needed someone to be active with, whether it be going out to places, or just watching a movie. And since you were an only child, I thought it would be nice to step in,” Thomas says.
Over the years, I would see them every weekend and would enjoy the time I spent with them. Seeing Thomas so often, I started to look up to him and go to him if I needed to talk to him about something I didn’t want to tell my mom. I considered him my father and someone I trusted. He taught me to be a good person in life and gave me advice when I most needed it.
However, I was not alone experiencing the hardship of growing up fatherless. Gina Pedroza’s, a sophomore at Yerba Buena High School, father left the family when she was only 3 months old.
“It was a struggle. My mom was always working, so when you have a single parent, and your siblings were at school, you grow to become more independent as you get older,” said Gina.
Gina’s father figure growing up was her best friend's dad. Whenever going through something difficult, he was there to emotionally support, or take care of her.
Gina wasn’t used to a male figure present in her life, but she felt that her family was whole when he was present. “I felt that my family was complete once I had him in my life,” she says.
Andrea Espulgar, a sophomore at Yerba Buena High School, had not known her father her entire life, for he had left before she was born.
While thinking back on her childhood, Andrea says, “I think it would have been nice for a father to be there while growing up. But I got really close to my mom because of what happened, and I don’t think it would be the same if he was there.”
Andrea’s connection to her mother had grown because of her father’s absence. Forcing her to go to her mom about things that he couldn’t talk to her dad about.
“Since I didn’t have another parent to lean on, I depended on my mom, and I am grateful she was there for me.”
For Andrea, her father figure was her cousin’s dad. He was always around to help take care of her whenever her mom was not available.
“When my mom was busy, I went to him, and I could talk to him about anything,” she said, “He helped me grow up, and was always there whenever I needed him.”
According to an article from the Children’s Bureau, “A Father’s Impact on Child Development”, can take a toll on a child’s development. The absence of a father early on in the child’s life can affect their mental and physical health, academic performance, behavior, and social skills.
A father figure is someone who is an emotional substitution for a father. They would have a great impact on someone’s life, supporting and being there for them when needed, or simply, just being a dad.
Another source, “The Father Effect, by the Numbers” by Fatherly, children with fathers in their lives are less likely to drop out of school or break the law. They are also are more likely to avoid risky sex, do well in school, and hold down a job.
Growing up tends to be more difficult without having both parents around. You are required to learn how to be more independent earlier than usual. As life changes, you have to adapt, and it matters on how you carry the experience, and what you take from it.
Growing up without a father can either build or destroy you. My father passed away when I was 3 years old. At that time, I was too young to understand what had happened and how this would change my life forever.
When I was younger, I was confused. I didn’t know how to react or to deal with not having a father in my life. I had not known anyone who had gone through what I had.
With my mom always busy working, my cousin Thao, and her husband Thomas, stepped in to take care of me on the weekends.
“You were at an age (5) where you needed someone to be active with, whether it be going out to places, or just watching a movie. And since you were an only child, I thought it would be nice to step in,” Thomas says.
Over the years, I would see them every weekend and would enjoy the time I spent with them. Seeing Thomas so often, I started to look up to him and go to him if I needed to talk to him about something I didn’t want to tell my mom. I considered him my father and someone I trusted. He taught me to be a good person in life and gave me advice when I most needed it.
However, I was not alone experiencing the hardship of growing up fatherless. Gina Pedroza’s, a sophomore at Yerba Buena High School, father left the family when she was only 3 months old.
“It was a struggle. My mom was always working, so when you have a single parent, and your siblings were at school, you grow to become more independent as you get older,” said Gina.
Gina’s father figure growing up was her best friend's dad. Whenever going through something difficult, he was there to emotionally support, or take care of her.
Gina wasn’t used to a male figure present in her life, but she felt that her family was whole when he was present. “I felt that my family was complete once I had him in my life,” she says.
Andrea Espulgar, a sophomore at Yerba Buena High School, had not known her father her entire life, for he had left before she was born.
While thinking back on her childhood, Andrea says, “I think it would have been nice for a father to be there while growing up. But I got really close to my mom because of what happened, and I don’t think it would be the same if he was there.”
Andrea’s connection to her mother had grown because of her father’s absence. Forcing her to go to her mom about things that he couldn’t talk to her dad about.
“Since I didn’t have another parent to lean on, I depended on my mom, and I am grateful she was there for me.”
For Andrea, her father figure was her cousin’s dad. He was always around to help take care of her whenever her mom was not available.
“When my mom was busy, I went to him, and I could talk to him about anything,” she said, “He helped me grow up, and was always there whenever I needed him.”
According to an article from the Children’s Bureau, “A Father’s Impact on Child Development”, can take a toll on a child’s development. The absence of a father early on in the child’s life can affect their mental and physical health, academic performance, behavior, and social skills.
A father figure is someone who is an emotional substitution for a father. They would have a great impact on someone’s life, supporting and being there for them when needed, or simply, just being a dad.
Another source, “The Father Effect, by the Numbers” by Fatherly, children with fathers in their lives are less likely to drop out of school or break the law. They are also are more likely to avoid risky sex, do well in school, and hold down a job.
Growing up tends to be more difficult without having both parents around. You are required to learn how to be more independent earlier than usual. As life changes, you have to adapt, and it matters on how you carry the experience, and what you take from it.