By Kassandra Palominos
Who raised you while growing up? Not everyone is as fortunate to grow up with both parents. Some of us grow up with others who would take the important role in our lives more than what a biological parent would. Some of us could grow up with our mother but with a stepfather; others with father and stepmothers. Regardless, even the ones who aren’t your blood could take place in your heart.
Many children, including me, had to grow up with no biological father but had others take that role as if they were.
I grew up with no biological father, but I was lucky to have my mother, Nora Palominos. And I was never alone; I grew up with my cousins who were mostly all guys. They were like brothers to me, and the oldest was like a father figure in my eyes.
His name was Carlos. He would always help me with my homework and sometimes me and my cousin Michael would play-fight harshly; Carlos would be the one to intervene.
I wasn’t really curious about my real dad because I had all my family members surrounding me. I had the love I needed as well as the care. My cousins all gave me what I needed as a kid, until my cousin Carlos got married and things changed. He had his own kids to look out for and to give the love I once received. I ended up moving out and many of my family members drifted apart for a while. During that solitary moment in my life growing up, my mother met a guy.
My stepfather, Rolando Gutierrez, now 32 years old, took on the role of a father without even knowing it. I met my step dad when he was 20 years old and I was 4 years old. I am now 16 and my little sister 12. My little sister was born 2 years later, when I was 6. He practically raised her ever since she was a baby. I didn’t know much when I was still little, but as I got older and started to be around him more. I didn't get along with him as much at first. I didn't realize the good he was doing for me or my sister.
As the years passed by, I noticed that he was a nice person. He would buy us food and little things here and there, things my mom couldn’t afford at the time on her own because we weren’t financially stable. We eventually moved in together, the four of us. My dad paid the rent and my mom the bills. He worked hard, day and night to pay the roof over our head. Coming home tired, waking up again at 5 or 6 in the AM to continue the same restless routine. I didn't realize this struggle until I got older.
Who raised you while growing up? Not everyone is as fortunate to grow up with both parents. Some of us grow up with others who would take the important role in our lives more than what a biological parent would. Some of us could grow up with our mother but with a stepfather; others with father and stepmothers. Regardless, even the ones who aren’t your blood could take place in your heart.
Many children, including me, had to grow up with no biological father but had others take that role as if they were.
I grew up with no biological father, but I was lucky to have my mother, Nora Palominos. And I was never alone; I grew up with my cousins who were mostly all guys. They were like brothers to me, and the oldest was like a father figure in my eyes.
His name was Carlos. He would always help me with my homework and sometimes me and my cousin Michael would play-fight harshly; Carlos would be the one to intervene.
I wasn’t really curious about my real dad because I had all my family members surrounding me. I had the love I needed as well as the care. My cousins all gave me what I needed as a kid, until my cousin Carlos got married and things changed. He had his own kids to look out for and to give the love I once received. I ended up moving out and many of my family members drifted apart for a while. During that solitary moment in my life growing up, my mother met a guy.
My stepfather, Rolando Gutierrez, now 32 years old, took on the role of a father without even knowing it. I met my step dad when he was 20 years old and I was 4 years old. I am now 16 and my little sister 12. My little sister was born 2 years later, when I was 6. He practically raised her ever since she was a baby. I didn’t know much when I was still little, but as I got older and started to be around him more. I didn't get along with him as much at first. I didn't realize the good he was doing for me or my sister.
As the years passed by, I noticed that he was a nice person. He would buy us food and little things here and there, things my mom couldn’t afford at the time on her own because we weren’t financially stable. We eventually moved in together, the four of us. My dad paid the rent and my mom the bills. He worked hard, day and night to pay the roof over our head. Coming home tired, waking up again at 5 or 6 in the AM to continue the same restless routine. I didn't realize this struggle until I got older.
Overtime my relationship with my stepfather got better; we got along. A memory I have with him is one day, we went to the park and hung out together as a family. It was my mom, my sister, and me with my stepdad. It was all laughs and good times. I remember seeing children with their parents running around, laughing, smiling at one another. That gave me the sense I have a father right here with me.
As I’m reflecting on myself and I see those families, it gave me a spark in my heart. A light that opened my eyes and made me see how thankful I am for this guy standing right here. As I got older, he started giving me advice about school. He offered that if I go to school and get good grades, he would pay for whatever college I want to go to. That to me meant so much; it takes a lot for someone to do that for somebody else unless you really care for them and are willing to support them.
It was hard for me to call him dad, and it took a lot of me to give him that privilege. But he showed me as the older sibling that he had a special place in his heart for me, my sister, and my mother. For my little sister, it was nothing to her; she called him dad and he has always been. He loves us as if we were his actual daughters and always wants us protected and happy.
When I graduated from 8th grade, he was there with my mother and as well as my cousin Carlos. He was present at the important events of my life. It wasn’t easy for him taking on the role as our father neither.
My stepdad, Rolando said, “The most difficult part of taking that role for me was having to get your guys' trust. And also having to deal with your guys rebel stage.”
If it wasn’t for my stepdad, I don’t know where we would be. My mother Nora said, “ He has a big important part in not just my life but you and your sisters. A place where he is always going to be thanked for. He pays the roof over our head, has bought us anything we desire, and gave you girls the father love a child needs.”
She also added, “If he was not in our life, we would be struggling financially.” It’s true. We would be struggling to pay for rent, bills, food, and personal needs. I would have to be working a lot to help out my mom.
These days, everything is good. We are a happy family, enjoying our time together going out to have fun. He wants us to be happy and enjoy our life.
My dad said, “I work hard to give you girls what you want. I want you girls to always be happy and never sad or having to be struggling.”
I want my father to know how much he means to us. I don’t really show the appreciation I should, but it’s in my heart and will always be cherished. The ones who aren’t even our blood can take the place of those who aren't there as if they were our blood.
As I’m reflecting on myself and I see those families, it gave me a spark in my heart. A light that opened my eyes and made me see how thankful I am for this guy standing right here. As I got older, he started giving me advice about school. He offered that if I go to school and get good grades, he would pay for whatever college I want to go to. That to me meant so much; it takes a lot for someone to do that for somebody else unless you really care for them and are willing to support them.
It was hard for me to call him dad, and it took a lot of me to give him that privilege. But he showed me as the older sibling that he had a special place in his heart for me, my sister, and my mother. For my little sister, it was nothing to her; she called him dad and he has always been. He loves us as if we were his actual daughters and always wants us protected and happy.
When I graduated from 8th grade, he was there with my mother and as well as my cousin Carlos. He was present at the important events of my life. It wasn’t easy for him taking on the role as our father neither.
My stepdad, Rolando said, “The most difficult part of taking that role for me was having to get your guys' trust. And also having to deal with your guys rebel stage.”
If it wasn’t for my stepdad, I don’t know where we would be. My mother Nora said, “ He has a big important part in not just my life but you and your sisters. A place where he is always going to be thanked for. He pays the roof over our head, has bought us anything we desire, and gave you girls the father love a child needs.”
She also added, “If he was not in our life, we would be struggling financially.” It’s true. We would be struggling to pay for rent, bills, food, and personal needs. I would have to be working a lot to help out my mom.
These days, everything is good. We are a happy family, enjoying our time together going out to have fun. He wants us to be happy and enjoy our life.
My dad said, “I work hard to give you girls what you want. I want you girls to always be happy and never sad or having to be struggling.”
I want my father to know how much he means to us. I don’t really show the appreciation I should, but it’s in my heart and will always be cherished. The ones who aren’t even our blood can take the place of those who aren't there as if they were our blood.