By Jasmine Sinlao
Knowing you have both parents on your side can make anyone feel reassured and secured. However, not everyone around the world can relate to these conditions. In this story, I will be sharing the struggles of a married couple on the brink of losing sight in love. For the most part, I will be analyzing the impact a failing marriage can do to their children.
Many individuals—ranging from ages of their youngest years to their twenties and so forth—deal with the fact that their parents are just not working out like how they used to before. This is the case for a Yerba Buena High School student, Tre Watt.
“One day, my mom and dad argued in the car not too long ago, maybe a year or two ago. They were yelling and my mom was crying so hard, it sounded like she couldn’t breathe, and at a stop light she got out of the car and walked off,” Tre explained as he described one of the memories of his parent’s arguing that he can never forget.
According to Tre, his parents would argue almost four times a day. “The arguments would consist of nothing that really mattered. They would just try and find every little thing to get mad over, and it would work every single time,” he added.
Tre himself would try and mitigate the situation by reminding his parents that arguing is never the answer and that it’s not worth it.
“The way they treat each other isn’t how a relationship should be. I would always question both my parents if they’re proud of how they portray themselves in public, or in front of us. To be honest with both of them, I would tell them they shouldn’t even argue in front of their children because it would affect us,” he mentioned.
Referring to the article Unhappy Families: Children from the publisher The Economist, a study by Monica C. and John T. shows that children whose parents are together yet struggling are more likely to suffer with problems such as low self-esteem, bad health problems as well as behavioral and educational problems. They are prone to suffer through such problems more than children in step-family situations.
The constant arguments have been going on for many years, ever since Tre was a kid: “I used to cry and overthink at such an early age. I would sometimes cry myself to sleep knowing that my parents were both hurting in their own ways. I would always think because I cried, it made me look and feel weak.” This amount of fighting can transform anyone’s mindset and change their way of thinking into something dreary.
Fortunately, Tre doesn’t go through this alone. He has three other siblings, the oldest being eighteen, the second youngest being fourteen and his youngest sibling being thirteen.
Although they deal with the situation together as siblings, they all become influenced in their own ways.
“My siblings turned out the way I did. My older brother would cry beside me when they would argue, and it would tear me apart to see him like that. It hurts me even more to see my younger siblings cry. They became traumatized at such an early age. They turned out to be so mad, and so quiet,” Tre said.
Over the years, they have grown from witnessing their parents bickering back and forth. Being in the situation they’re in has created them to become mature at an early age.
This situation transformed Tre the most. “I have changed a lot. From being a little kid I adequately became more mature than any of my siblings because of what I’ve experienced. I’m always told as if I’m the oldest amongst my siblings because of the way I handle and deal with things so calmly. As I grew older I went through thicker than thick, but I learned that it gets thinner as I go along with comforting both of my parents with how they feel.”
Having his whole family together doesn’t add up to its full potential when it all consists of its disagreements. Personally, Tre feels that quality is better than quantity.
“I want them to divorce. I’ve felt this way ever since I was eight. I never see my mom or dad happy. To wish for parents to be divorced isn’t a good thing because a happy family is all that’s needed to have a good life. I guess you would say that that’s all I really wanted in my life. For a happy family, and it wouldn’t matter to me if we were poor or not. That’s all I really wanted growing up,” Tre spoke.
Sometimes, parents stay in their relationship for the sake of their children. No parent would want to leave their child's side no matter the circumstances. However, most children would want the exact opposite of that.
According to news website, The Guardian, legal affairs correspondent Owen Bowcott organized a study whether children of struggling parents preferred their families together or apart. Eighty-two percent of those children preferred divorce over an unhappy relationship.
Currently, Tre’s father isn’t living with the rest of the family. Tre isn’t stunned by this, and thinks it’s better off like this instead of dealing with the daily occurrence of conflict.
Overall, a failing marriage causes a great impact on their children. It can cause problems with their self-esteem and develop major changes in their outlook in life. With Tre, his family issues caused him to mature at an age where the main problems little boys would have, was which hotwheel car looked better or what to ask for Christmas.
Advice Tre suggests for other children who are dealing with troubled parents is to never put yourself down for your parents actions. Remind yourself that whatever is happening, whatever is being said, is not your fault.
“There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, and nobody should ever beat you up mentally or physically for it. Loving yourself and keeping yourself happy should always be the first option in your mindset.”
Knowing you have both parents on your side can make anyone feel reassured and secured. However, not everyone around the world can relate to these conditions. In this story, I will be sharing the struggles of a married couple on the brink of losing sight in love. For the most part, I will be analyzing the impact a failing marriage can do to their children.
Many individuals—ranging from ages of their youngest years to their twenties and so forth—deal with the fact that their parents are just not working out like how they used to before. This is the case for a Yerba Buena High School student, Tre Watt.
“One day, my mom and dad argued in the car not too long ago, maybe a year or two ago. They were yelling and my mom was crying so hard, it sounded like she couldn’t breathe, and at a stop light she got out of the car and walked off,” Tre explained as he described one of the memories of his parent’s arguing that he can never forget.
According to Tre, his parents would argue almost four times a day. “The arguments would consist of nothing that really mattered. They would just try and find every little thing to get mad over, and it would work every single time,” he added.
Tre himself would try and mitigate the situation by reminding his parents that arguing is never the answer and that it’s not worth it.
“The way they treat each other isn’t how a relationship should be. I would always question both my parents if they’re proud of how they portray themselves in public, or in front of us. To be honest with both of them, I would tell them they shouldn’t even argue in front of their children because it would affect us,” he mentioned.
Referring to the article Unhappy Families: Children from the publisher The Economist, a study by Monica C. and John T. shows that children whose parents are together yet struggling are more likely to suffer with problems such as low self-esteem, bad health problems as well as behavioral and educational problems. They are prone to suffer through such problems more than children in step-family situations.
The constant arguments have been going on for many years, ever since Tre was a kid: “I used to cry and overthink at such an early age. I would sometimes cry myself to sleep knowing that my parents were both hurting in their own ways. I would always think because I cried, it made me look and feel weak.” This amount of fighting can transform anyone’s mindset and change their way of thinking into something dreary.
Fortunately, Tre doesn’t go through this alone. He has three other siblings, the oldest being eighteen, the second youngest being fourteen and his youngest sibling being thirteen.
Although they deal with the situation together as siblings, they all become influenced in their own ways.
“My siblings turned out the way I did. My older brother would cry beside me when they would argue, and it would tear me apart to see him like that. It hurts me even more to see my younger siblings cry. They became traumatized at such an early age. They turned out to be so mad, and so quiet,” Tre said.
Over the years, they have grown from witnessing their parents bickering back and forth. Being in the situation they’re in has created them to become mature at an early age.
This situation transformed Tre the most. “I have changed a lot. From being a little kid I adequately became more mature than any of my siblings because of what I’ve experienced. I’m always told as if I’m the oldest amongst my siblings because of the way I handle and deal with things so calmly. As I grew older I went through thicker than thick, but I learned that it gets thinner as I go along with comforting both of my parents with how they feel.”
Having his whole family together doesn’t add up to its full potential when it all consists of its disagreements. Personally, Tre feels that quality is better than quantity.
“I want them to divorce. I’ve felt this way ever since I was eight. I never see my mom or dad happy. To wish for parents to be divorced isn’t a good thing because a happy family is all that’s needed to have a good life. I guess you would say that that’s all I really wanted in my life. For a happy family, and it wouldn’t matter to me if we were poor or not. That’s all I really wanted growing up,” Tre spoke.
Sometimes, parents stay in their relationship for the sake of their children. No parent would want to leave their child's side no matter the circumstances. However, most children would want the exact opposite of that.
According to news website, The Guardian, legal affairs correspondent Owen Bowcott organized a study whether children of struggling parents preferred their families together or apart. Eighty-two percent of those children preferred divorce over an unhappy relationship.
Currently, Tre’s father isn’t living with the rest of the family. Tre isn’t stunned by this, and thinks it’s better off like this instead of dealing with the daily occurrence of conflict.
Overall, a failing marriage causes a great impact on their children. It can cause problems with their self-esteem and develop major changes in their outlook in life. With Tre, his family issues caused him to mature at an age where the main problems little boys would have, was which hotwheel car looked better or what to ask for Christmas.
Advice Tre suggests for other children who are dealing with troubled parents is to never put yourself down for your parents actions. Remind yourself that whatever is happening, whatever is being said, is not your fault.
“There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, and nobody should ever beat you up mentally or physically for it. Loving yourself and keeping yourself happy should always be the first option in your mindset.”