By Jackie Tang
Human beings need friendship and social interaction to thrive and benefit their lives, and that is especially true for kids. However, some are not as fortunate as others, including myself, because I was once isolated from the world.
Have you ever felt left out? Have you felt lonely? Have you had felt isolated from the world? Was no one there for you? Well that’s what happened to me. Back in my days as an elementary school student, I felt isolated, broken, not self confident, angry, sad and had few to no friends at all. Even then, some of my “friends” I thought I had were fake, which made me mad. They only acted to show me sympathy or pity. Everyone made fun of me, calling me weird, annoying, trash, ugly, etc.
One such event made me isolate myself and become almost exiled from the rest of my classmates; it impacted me a lot. It all began on a recess on a hot afternoon. I was walking by myself, wanting to play soccer or anything with fellow students. Before that, I kicked rocks to pass time just for myself. It was then that I walked up to students playing soccer and asked, “Can I play with you?” I was merely shut down and ignored as if I didn't exist. Anger had built up inside me making me and causing myself to want to smack someone in the face right there and then.
Sadness had also built inside. I had felt left out, lonely, and it was that moment I decided to almost exile myself from others and become a loner. No one, and I mean nobody, was there for me! Do you know how that felt to just be treated and ignored as like if you didnt exist?! My behavior had changed afterwards in which i never really talked to others that much, but no one noticed because I had a facade on the outside, but I was sad on the inside. I knew isolation and loneliness was bad for me, but I didn't know it was really that bad for me.
Back then, I was really shy and never really socialized with others. Plus, I was just pushed away whenever I tried to socialize with others. I always hid my inner sadness and anger from others and always showed my happy and energetic most of the time as opposed to my sadness. It even made me less self confident than I already was, just like my brother back then, I never even spoke up to any adults about it.
Within the aftermath of hearing those words, I merely felt lonely due to the fact I had no friends. Everyone had spoke negatively about me, especially during the 5th-6th grades because they knew I never fought back or stood up for myself like I do now. I thought I was inferior to my classmates and that they were always better than me. I wanted to make those same people feel the same pain I felt due to my immaturity.
As difficult as it was reliving the past of my loneliness in the elementary school, during a recent conversation with my brother, he shared what he remembered about me from back in those days. He shared he endured the same type of low self confidence I had back then.
“I had low self confidence, because I felt weird and was afraid to be judged by others. I also felt inferior to other people back then,” my brother says. “But I never really noticed anything off about Jackie. He never came to me, and I had noticed he always hid his loneliness, sadness and anger with his happy and energetic side.”
What was equally sad was that as young kids, my brother and I were always disconnected from one another due to us never really talking to each other even during school, but we still loved each other. It was almost like tough love in a way if you look at it. It wasn’t my brother’s fault though, we were still just little kids, and I don’t blame him at all. I still love him.
“We were always disconnected back then at elementary school. We never really talked much like we do now. It wasn’t until middle school when we started to connect bit by bit with one another and now we’re connected.”
According to Kristen Moutria in her 2017 article “The Effects of Isolation on child’s social development” featured in livestrong.com, the effects are trouble connecting with peers, less playful, and risk of being socially disabled. According to an article featured on understood.org titled “How loneliness can impact kids with learning and attention issues,” developing low self esteem, likely to be sad, disconnection from others and even low self confidence are effects of isolation.
Whatever the effects of isolation or loneliness are, they all affect one person emotionally and mentally, causing them to disconnect or isolate themselves from other people.
As a graduating high school senior, it was difficult looking back at the past and how it impacted me as a young person. It made me reflect on how I treated others, showed more compassion, understand that no one’s perfect and to mature as a person on dealing with my isolation like dancing, which helps me silence the anger I had held inside from the past.
It also made me understand that no matter what you go through in terms of hardships or loneliness and having no friends, there’s always going to be someone there for you to listen to your problems.
Have you ever felt left out? Have you felt lonely? Have you had felt isolated from the world? Was no one there for you? Well that’s what happened to me. Back in my days as an elementary school student, I felt isolated, broken, not self confident, angry, sad and had few to no friends at all. Even then, some of my “friends” I thought I had were fake, which made me mad. They only acted to show me sympathy or pity. Everyone made fun of me, calling me weird, annoying, trash, ugly, etc.
One such event made me isolate myself and become almost exiled from the rest of my classmates; it impacted me a lot. It all began on a recess on a hot afternoon. I was walking by myself, wanting to play soccer or anything with fellow students. Before that, I kicked rocks to pass time just for myself. It was then that I walked up to students playing soccer and asked, “Can I play with you?” I was merely shut down and ignored as if I didn't exist. Anger had built up inside me making me and causing myself to want to smack someone in the face right there and then.
Sadness had also built inside. I had felt left out, lonely, and it was that moment I decided to almost exile myself from others and become a loner. No one, and I mean nobody, was there for me! Do you know how that felt to just be treated and ignored as like if you didnt exist?! My behavior had changed afterwards in which i never really talked to others that much, but no one noticed because I had a facade on the outside, but I was sad on the inside. I knew isolation and loneliness was bad for me, but I didn't know it was really that bad for me.
Back then, I was really shy and never really socialized with others. Plus, I was just pushed away whenever I tried to socialize with others. I always hid my inner sadness and anger from others and always showed my happy and energetic most of the time as opposed to my sadness. It even made me less self confident than I already was, just like my brother back then, I never even spoke up to any adults about it.
Within the aftermath of hearing those words, I merely felt lonely due to the fact I had no friends. Everyone had spoke negatively about me, especially during the 5th-6th grades because they knew I never fought back or stood up for myself like I do now. I thought I was inferior to my classmates and that they were always better than me. I wanted to make those same people feel the same pain I felt due to my immaturity.
As difficult as it was reliving the past of my loneliness in the elementary school, during a recent conversation with my brother, he shared what he remembered about me from back in those days. He shared he endured the same type of low self confidence I had back then.
“I had low self confidence, because I felt weird and was afraid to be judged by others. I also felt inferior to other people back then,” my brother says. “But I never really noticed anything off about Jackie. He never came to me, and I had noticed he always hid his loneliness, sadness and anger with his happy and energetic side.”
What was equally sad was that as young kids, my brother and I were always disconnected from one another due to us never really talking to each other even during school, but we still loved each other. It was almost like tough love in a way if you look at it. It wasn’t my brother’s fault though, we were still just little kids, and I don’t blame him at all. I still love him.
“We were always disconnected back then at elementary school. We never really talked much like we do now. It wasn’t until middle school when we started to connect bit by bit with one another and now we’re connected.”
According to Kristen Moutria in her 2017 article “The Effects of Isolation on child’s social development” featured in livestrong.com, the effects are trouble connecting with peers, less playful, and risk of being socially disabled. According to an article featured on understood.org titled “How loneliness can impact kids with learning and attention issues,” developing low self esteem, likely to be sad, disconnection from others and even low self confidence are effects of isolation.
Whatever the effects of isolation or loneliness are, they all affect one person emotionally and mentally, causing them to disconnect or isolate themselves from other people.
As a graduating high school senior, it was difficult looking back at the past and how it impacted me as a young person. It made me reflect on how I treated others, showed more compassion, understand that no one’s perfect and to mature as a person on dealing with my isolation like dancing, which helps me silence the anger I had held inside from the past.
It also made me understand that no matter what you go through in terms of hardships or loneliness and having no friends, there’s always going to be someone there for you to listen to your problems.