By Gina Pedroza
Leaving a friendship of four years sounds like the hardest thing a person could do. Especially one that was considered a “best friend.”
My whole life, I constantly had people take advantage of me, then leave me as if I never even existed. This friendship was exactly like that, but we constantly kept on going back to each other.
There’s a saying about trusting your gut instinct and how it is correct 90% of the time. I definitely should have listened to my gut feeling the moment I met them. I had a feeling we were going to be the best of friends, but also that there was going to be something very wrong with our friendship. Boy, was that instinct correct.
I even asked my mom what she had thought about them after the friendship ended. She said that every time we had fought, she begged me to just end the friendship completely. She saw me lose my true self, once I had become friends with this person and how much it damaged my self-esteem and my well being.
The friendship became more and more of a problem, as the months went by. My self esteem got
lower from rude unnecessary comments, to constantly being put down for the things that I was passionate about. I was convinced that this person liked to see me struggle.
I started to hate myself. I thought that I was useless, and when I would pour my heart out to this person, they completely overlooked my situations and convinced me that I wasn't important.
Our conversations were dry and weak. It almost felt as if I were talking to a wall. No response. No reaction.
I refused to give up on the friendship because I always saw the good in them and I did not want to lose more people in my life. I thought I could change them but in the end things got worse.
The friendship ended and I finally felt as if a weight had been lifted. I felt like I was shackled to this person. Like their shadow. A sidekick. Like I couldn't do anything without their permission. It's hard to explain but when you've known someone for so long and put full trust in them, it's hard to leave. But I did it, and I'm the happiest I’ve been in a long while.
Leaving a friendship of four years sounds like the hardest thing a person could do. Especially one that was considered a “best friend.”
My whole life, I constantly had people take advantage of me, then leave me as if I never even existed. This friendship was exactly like that, but we constantly kept on going back to each other.
There’s a saying about trusting your gut instinct and how it is correct 90% of the time. I definitely should have listened to my gut feeling the moment I met them. I had a feeling we were going to be the best of friends, but also that there was going to be something very wrong with our friendship. Boy, was that instinct correct.
I even asked my mom what she had thought about them after the friendship ended. She said that every time we had fought, she begged me to just end the friendship completely. She saw me lose my true self, once I had become friends with this person and how much it damaged my self-esteem and my well being.
The friendship became more and more of a problem, as the months went by. My self esteem got
lower from rude unnecessary comments, to constantly being put down for the things that I was passionate about. I was convinced that this person liked to see me struggle.
I started to hate myself. I thought that I was useless, and when I would pour my heart out to this person, they completely overlooked my situations and convinced me that I wasn't important.
Our conversations were dry and weak. It almost felt as if I were talking to a wall. No response. No reaction.
I refused to give up on the friendship because I always saw the good in them and I did not want to lose more people in my life. I thought I could change them but in the end things got worse.
The friendship ended and I finally felt as if a weight had been lifted. I felt like I was shackled to this person. Like their shadow. A sidekick. Like I couldn't do anything without their permission. It's hard to explain but when you've known someone for so long and put full trust in them, it's hard to leave. But I did it, and I'm the happiest I’ve been in a long while.