By: Brian Rios
There are a lot of children in the United States who grow up without their father or they just see them behind bars. According to TeenVogue.com, 2.7 million children have an incarcerated parent. I am one out of that 2.7 million and here’s my story.
At 8 years old, I experienced seeing my father behind bars for two years. It was a confusing and difficult time for me. I remember seeing my father being taken away by a policeman, and me as just a child had no clue on what was going on. After a couple of weeks, I started asking where my dad had gone, and then my mom told me that it was going to take a while for me to see him again.
A few months passed before we went on our first visit to see him. As soon as I saw him, I ran towards him and gave him a big hug. I told him I missed him, and that it hadn’t been easy living without him around. I remember that we all went at the same time to see him, but because we had to talk to him through a phone, only one person could talk to him at a time.
I couldn’t tell what my dad would be saying when someone else was talking to him. I remember that I was really excited to finally be able to talk to him after months passing by without seeing or hearing him. When it was his turn to talk to me, I was close to crying but I held it back because at that time I was taught that me being a male, I was not supposed to show emotions.
So I told my dad that I had missed him and that it had been a long time. And then, he broke down and started crying. I was confused at the time because I saw the one person--the strongest person in my life--crying. After a couple of minutes, it was my sisters turn to talk to him. The first thing that my dad told my sister was: “Como an estado?” How have you guys been?
When I asked my sister about this experience, she said, “It was so hard to keep my emotions in and not let them out, so I started crying.”
It was the exact kind of feeling I felt when I went to talk to my dad as well. After we all finished talking to him it was time for us to leave, we said our goodbyes to him. I was still crying and said my goodbye. On the road back home, I couldn’t control my emotions and just cried the entire way home.
After years and years of experiencing these feelings, I have learned how to keep those feelings hidden away. Yet, keeping these feelings only hurts me more. I still haven’t seen my dad in seven years and it pains me to see other families be whole while my family is separated.
I hope to see my father soon. Maybe I’ll go visit him sometime and spend time with him. I hope to catch up with him and tell him how much I have grown and accomplished. I hope he will be proud of the person I am trying to become because I am trying to be a better version of him.
Currently, I am 18 years old, and even now I struggle with my father’s absence.
There are a lot of children in the United States who grow up without their father or they just see them behind bars. According to TeenVogue.com, 2.7 million children have an incarcerated parent. I am one out of that 2.7 million and here’s my story.
At 8 years old, I experienced seeing my father behind bars for two years. It was a confusing and difficult time for me. I remember seeing my father being taken away by a policeman, and me as just a child had no clue on what was going on. After a couple of weeks, I started asking where my dad had gone, and then my mom told me that it was going to take a while for me to see him again.
A few months passed before we went on our first visit to see him. As soon as I saw him, I ran towards him and gave him a big hug. I told him I missed him, and that it hadn’t been easy living without him around. I remember that we all went at the same time to see him, but because we had to talk to him through a phone, only one person could talk to him at a time.
I couldn’t tell what my dad would be saying when someone else was talking to him. I remember that I was really excited to finally be able to talk to him after months passing by without seeing or hearing him. When it was his turn to talk to me, I was close to crying but I held it back because at that time I was taught that me being a male, I was not supposed to show emotions.
So I told my dad that I had missed him and that it had been a long time. And then, he broke down and started crying. I was confused at the time because I saw the one person--the strongest person in my life--crying. After a couple of minutes, it was my sisters turn to talk to him. The first thing that my dad told my sister was: “Como an estado?” How have you guys been?
When I asked my sister about this experience, she said, “It was so hard to keep my emotions in and not let them out, so I started crying.”
It was the exact kind of feeling I felt when I went to talk to my dad as well. After we all finished talking to him it was time for us to leave, we said our goodbyes to him. I was still crying and said my goodbye. On the road back home, I couldn’t control my emotions and just cried the entire way home.
After years and years of experiencing these feelings, I have learned how to keep those feelings hidden away. Yet, keeping these feelings only hurts me more. I still haven’t seen my dad in seven years and it pains me to see other families be whole while my family is separated.
I hope to see my father soon. Maybe I’ll go visit him sometime and spend time with him. I hope to catch up with him and tell him how much I have grown and accomplished. I hope he will be proud of the person I am trying to become because I am trying to be a better version of him.
Currently, I am 18 years old, and even now I struggle with my father’s absence.