By Randy Dao
This year I have learned so much about myself and those around me. I learned what type of person I was to myself and towards others. I learned that I was a very negative person in the past. I took out my anger towards the ones closest to me whenever I wasn’t in a good mood. I overthought stupid little things and took things out of proportion very easily. I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle growing up, because I was use to being who I was and no one was there to change me. I realized that I couldn't be this type of person towards the people I cared about and I wanted to change that.
To start off, I felt like a nobody. I was always the anti-social kid who barely talked to anyone, let alone even try to make new friends. I realize that I didn’t want to stay in that type of situation that didn’t make me happy. It took a lot and starting to change who I was in the past was rough.
It was during my junior year of high school when my life started to change; it began when I started to take part in a class event called Spirit Week. Spirit Week is an event where students perform for the school about a specific theme for their class. This was the first big step in changing myself for the better. I wanted to perform in Spirit Week to show people that I can really do it. Surprisingly, I was placed as the main character of the whole skit. It blew my mind. A point in my life where I saw initiative, in order to bring myself out there and not be someone hiding behind a screen monitor playing games eight hours a day.
To start off, I felt like a nobody. I was always the anti-social kid who barely talked to anyone, let alone even try to make new friends. I realize that I didn’t want to stay in that type of situation that didn’t make me happy. It took a lot and starting to change who I was in the past was rough.
It was during my junior year of high school when my life started to change; it began when I started to take part in a class event called Spirit Week. Spirit Week is an event where students perform for the school about a specific theme for their class. This was the first big step in changing myself for the better. I wanted to perform in Spirit Week to show people that I can really do it. Surprisingly, I was placed as the main character of the whole skit. It blew my mind. A point in my life where I saw initiative, in order to bring myself out there and not be someone hiding behind a screen monitor playing games eight hours a day.
This event really shaped my life onto a different alternative. When I joined Spirit Week, I really didn't know anyone. It was hard for me to communicate with anyone because I was too shy. The people doing Spirit Week were all close to each other and their bond and relationship made it hard for me to introduce myself. I often felt alone, doing my own things just to try help out the class, like painting posters although most of those times it was me doing it by myself, while everyone was talking and having fun.
I started to have anxiety that no one would come up to me and talk to me, I felt like I was nobody and no one wanted to approach me, but it turned out that some people in the class actually walked up to me just to talk to me and find out who I was. I had a good time talking to the people in my class, people I’ve never seen before and most of them were welcoming. The first reaction people had seeing me for the first time was, “I never seen you before, are you new here?” When I hear that it makes me laugh because I never really did anything for my class, so I wasn't surprised they would ask me that. When I answer by saying “I’ve been here since freshman year,” people usually always get surprised and say, “where have you been all these years.” That exact quote really stuck to me because it made me feel like people enjoyed my company, and most of them did because I brought a smile and laughter towards them. It made me realize that I shouldn’t be quiet and think negatively, but instead approach people, being me. It took a lot. Although it seemed like a big step forward I still went through a lot of ups and downs.
Having more friends and being able to let people know who I really am was is what I yearned for. Unfortunately, I was dealing with a lot of problems before and during Spirit Week. I was facing with a lot of sadness and anger inside of me because I looked upon the negative things in my life. I wanted to bring myself out there and not to always be shy and quiet, but I was use to always putting myself down in the past.
I relentlessly put myself down during Spirit Week and it slowly became a regular thing I would tell myself-- “I’m not good enough,” “There are always people better than me.” It was during that time where I really noticed that although taking a big step forward, I couldn't stop thinking that there were people who could have done the skit a lot better than me, especially being the main character.
But the people who I made friends with during my time for Spirit Week gave me a lot of support and helped me overcome my negative thoughts. One of them was Michelle Vo, a great senior friend of mines who I think highly of because of the things she has done for me in the past. Michelle is one of the many friends I’ve meant in my junior year doing spirit week. Even though we didn’t talk much, she would always be a helping hand whenever I was feeling down, as she would be a supporting hand in and outside of school.
Jumping back in my middle school years, I didn’t have many friends. I only stayed close with the friends I made since elementary. It was the group of friends I was comfortable being around cause I never really bought myself out there to make new ones. I was very shy and awkward, not having much communication skills made it really hard for me to even talk to the people around me in class. But little did I know I started to have a goofy act towards the people I was actually comfortable showing it to. Because of this, it helped me connect authentically with the people in spirit week and I realized that I could take upon this goofy act and make more friends.
I also came to realize during my middle school years that I could actually make people laugh and smile. I never really thought of it much, because I was too busy worrying about what others thought about me. I was super self-conscious about myself with the words that spoke in my mind putting me down. It took years to get out of my comfort zone and until my SENIOR year when I started to really find myself and expressing my natural self towards many people and not care what others thought about me.
I started to have anxiety that no one would come up to me and talk to me, I felt like I was nobody and no one wanted to approach me, but it turned out that some people in the class actually walked up to me just to talk to me and find out who I was. I had a good time talking to the people in my class, people I’ve never seen before and most of them were welcoming. The first reaction people had seeing me for the first time was, “I never seen you before, are you new here?” When I hear that it makes me laugh because I never really did anything for my class, so I wasn't surprised they would ask me that. When I answer by saying “I’ve been here since freshman year,” people usually always get surprised and say, “where have you been all these years.” That exact quote really stuck to me because it made me feel like people enjoyed my company, and most of them did because I brought a smile and laughter towards them. It made me realize that I shouldn’t be quiet and think negatively, but instead approach people, being me. It took a lot. Although it seemed like a big step forward I still went through a lot of ups and downs.
Having more friends and being able to let people know who I really am was is what I yearned for. Unfortunately, I was dealing with a lot of problems before and during Spirit Week. I was facing with a lot of sadness and anger inside of me because I looked upon the negative things in my life. I wanted to bring myself out there and not to always be shy and quiet, but I was use to always putting myself down in the past.
I relentlessly put myself down during Spirit Week and it slowly became a regular thing I would tell myself-- “I’m not good enough,” “There are always people better than me.” It was during that time where I really noticed that although taking a big step forward, I couldn't stop thinking that there were people who could have done the skit a lot better than me, especially being the main character.
But the people who I made friends with during my time for Spirit Week gave me a lot of support and helped me overcome my negative thoughts. One of them was Michelle Vo, a great senior friend of mines who I think highly of because of the things she has done for me in the past. Michelle is one of the many friends I’ve meant in my junior year doing spirit week. Even though we didn’t talk much, she would always be a helping hand whenever I was feeling down, as she would be a supporting hand in and outside of school.
Jumping back in my middle school years, I didn’t have many friends. I only stayed close with the friends I made since elementary. It was the group of friends I was comfortable being around cause I never really bought myself out there to make new ones. I was very shy and awkward, not having much communication skills made it really hard for me to even talk to the people around me in class. But little did I know I started to have a goofy act towards the people I was actually comfortable showing it to. Because of this, it helped me connect authentically with the people in spirit week and I realized that I could take upon this goofy act and make more friends.
I also came to realize during my middle school years that I could actually make people laugh and smile. I never really thought of it much, because I was too busy worrying about what others thought about me. I was super self-conscious about myself with the words that spoke in my mind putting me down. It took years to get out of my comfort zone and until my SENIOR year when I started to really find myself and expressing my natural self towards many people and not care what others thought about me.
I realized that I was stopping a part of me where I can really express to others to make them laugh and enjoy my company. The person I know I can really be and to bring out for others to see is what I wanted to do. I wanted to show people my kindness, weirdness, funniness, and goofiness which was hidden inside of me from the past.
This year has really been an amazing year for me. Although there were a lot of problems towards my family, friends, and grades starting to plummet, I managed to pull through thanks to the amazing memories and people I’ve meant so far. Especially the people in ASB.
My life is shaped into many ways. A lot of problems that I turned into lessons and I soon realize that some things are just out of my control and are better off left behind. I am a better person than I ever was years ago, and I want to always improve myself for the better. Of course I go through highs and lows, but I want to move on into bigger and better things, and always learning from these mistakes. I am graduating very soon, and I would like to thank Tinoco and everyone who has helped me in the past. The future awaits, and I will always be changing hopefully in good ways.
This year has really been an amazing year for me. Although there were a lot of problems towards my family, friends, and grades starting to plummet, I managed to pull through thanks to the amazing memories and people I’ve meant so far. Especially the people in ASB.
My life is shaped into many ways. A lot of problems that I turned into lessons and I soon realize that some things are just out of my control and are better off left behind. I am a better person than I ever was years ago, and I want to always improve myself for the better. Of course I go through highs and lows, but I want to move on into bigger and better things, and always learning from these mistakes. I am graduating very soon, and I would like to thank Tinoco and everyone who has helped me in the past. The future awaits, and I will always be changing hopefully in good ways.